We just celebrated her first birthday. Only it’s not what
you’re thinking, it wasn’t a joyous day. There was no party, no cake, no
balloons.
It was her first birthday in Heaven.
Almost a year ago now, my sweet friend went to be with
Jesus. I haven’t been able to blog about her life’s impact on my life until
now. Truthfully, I was impacted more by Preethi’s death than her life.
This post is very personal and precious to me and I have
hesitated to share it, but it’s part of my story now and I pray God will be
glorified through it.
Dad was diagnosed in January and that Spring Preethi was
also diagnosed. A small, but mighty, crew of us started getting together weekly
to pray for them. Some of those prayer times were the BEST prayer meetings I
have ever been to. And as someone who
LOVES to pray, I have been to a lot of prayer meetings. My life was changed by praying with those women.
Changed.
In addition to Dad and Preethi, we also prayed for a
precious little one still in his mama’s tummy who didn’t have any kidneys. We
tackled those 3 “death sentences” with all the faith we could muster and that
summer, sweet baby boy was healed! Where there had been no kidneys, there were
2 healthy kidneys. He was going to live. He could be born. Let that sink in. And
then give praise to God.
We were encouraged.
Dad was encouraged.
Then he began to decline.
So we ramped up our prayers.
Dad died in September and I needed to take a break from
hosting those prayer times.
When Preethi’s health began to decline the following Spring,
we began meeting again.
This time something was different. Something had changed. It
was like going from black and white to color. There was an intensity to our
prayers I hadn’t experienced before. There were less of our words and more of
the Spirit. God was taking us deeper into the battle, behind enemy lines, and
we were coming back with victory. Each of us was hearing the same thing from
God, again and again; we were so amped up all we could do was to dance and
worship b/c victory was ours!!! We knew she would be healed, we knew He had
done it on the cross.
I didn’t actually know Preethi very well before she got
sick, but in praying for her, I felt I knew her. There’s something about
praying for one another that births an intimacy of relationship. It was a gift
and truly my honor to seek Heaven on her behalf.
The Friday evening of Father’s Day weekend, my 1st
Father’s Day without my beloved Dad, Preethi went to be with Jesus. I remember
where I was standing in our kitchen when I got the news.
This time it was personal. When Dad died, I was, and still
am, completely heartbroken. But when Preethi died, I was just pissed. It was
personal this time. It was a loss that seemed to come at a higher cost. That’s
how it felt to me. Preethi left a husband and 3 sweet little boys behind. Like
I said, personal.
And you know what? It should be personal. We are losing
too many dads, moms, little ones, and friends before their time. I want it to
feel personal every single time. I want it to feel like my heart is shattering b/c
what’s happening matters.
At Preethi’s funeral, our little prayer crew sat together,
“pooling” our faith. We were going to pray for a miracle until our precious
friend was buried deep in the ground. We were soldiers and though the battle
seemed over, we weren’t giving up yet. I spent the service going back and forth
between weeping in grief and pulling myself together, reminding myself that
miracles like this still happen!
Our prayer group met one last time after her funeral to
process and pray together. We seemed to have a special bond, like soldiers from
the same platoon (or something…) that had experienced the battle in the same
way. We needed one another to process the loss. I needed them.
My biggest take away from that time together was said by a
friend: “We did more damage to hell than hell did to Preethi.”
To that I say yes and amen. Her life was taken, but she has
eternal life now. As we prayed for her, and for Dad, and for baby boy, we
stepped just a little more deeply into the Kingdom of God, we understand just a
little bit more now of how to pray. And therefore, we will be better equipped to
pray next time.
I don’t have any answers. I know what has helped me to
understand better these past few years; what has gotten me through some of the
grief. I have also been forced into that place of seeking out peace for things
I don’t understand surrounding the loss of a loved one. I wouldn’t wish that
for anyone.
Once again, I’ll sign off with 2 things I know: God is
enough, and I will never regret getting into the trenches and fighting, in
faith, for my friend.
Happy Birthday, Preethi
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My sweet friend, rockin' her new wig. Man, she was an all star!
So thankful our paths crossed, even for just a few years. xoxo |
