Happy birthday to me!
Spent today with my sweet boys and lots (and lots) of free
Caribou Coffee. I am St. Arbucks girl through and through, but FREE is free.
Mom stopped by and brought me a birthday scone (smile) and
off to mom’s group we went. After that, I drove around with 3 napping boys and
a lovely friend, chatting, snacking, and collecting free drinks. Yes, you read
that right. More free drinks. Slurp.
Dinner of spicy enchiladas (boys had hotdogs) and homemade
chocolate turtle cake! Life is good. Had to pace myself today…..my stomach may
not thank me tomorrow, but today was sweet.
Change gears.
Life is good and grief is fickle.
Kind of like a fickle lover. Not like I have ever had one of
those, but you get my point. He complicates things when he’s around, but you
don’t want him to leave. You don’t long for his company, yet you can’t let go
of his sting. You crave it even. Letting go of him feels like letting go of the
loved one he may represent.
My birthday is a
marker of grief. It marks 34 years of life as well as 18 months without Dad.
Yes, time lessens the blow, but the ache remains. The hole can never be filled.
Miss you dad. Always.
Happy birthday to me. I’ll celebrate for the both of us.
Though you are at the better party.
xoxo
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