Embracing the CHAOS

I like peace and quiet. I like things orderly and succinct. I don’t like too much unnecessary noise (or words for that matter). I love to just BE. I don’t like to be busy or to be rushed. I am a human being not a human doing after all. I know, I know, a corny one too.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I know that’s what you were thinking, so I went ahead and said it for you.

The other day I said to Tim, “I can’t keep up with my life. I can’t respond to everyone, let alone in a timely fashion. I can’t catch my breath, literally or figuratively.” Without missing a beat, he motioned to what was going on next to us. Three little boys, all crammed into T-Bone’s crib, jumping up and down, squealing and having the time of their life.

Oh wait…my life IS those 3 little boys jumping up and down (on one another) in that crib. I need to respond (in a timely fashion) to them. I need to be present with them. I need to embrace their chaos….not complain about it. Enjoy it. Enjoy the chaos. Enjoy the chaos. If I repeat it enough, maybe it will start to happen. 

Actually, I know it will. I can’t lie, that sounds literally impossible to me, but those 3 little words, embrace the chaos, were given to me as an assignment by One who knows far more than I, so I am confident I can do it. I’m up to the challenge.

So here’s to chaos, cheers!

 busy

busy

busy

Happy Birthday To Me!

Happy birthday to me!

Spent today with my sweet boys and lots (and lots) of free Caribou Coffee. I am St. Arbucks girl through and through, but FREE is free.

Mom stopped by and brought me a birthday scone (smile) and off to mom’s group we went. After that, I drove around with 3 napping boys and a lovely friend, chatting, snacking, and collecting free drinks. Yes, you read that right. More free drinks. Slurp.

Dinner of spicy enchiladas (boys had hotdogs) and homemade chocolate turtle cake! Life is good. Had to pace myself today…..my stomach may not thank me tomorrow, but today was sweet.

Change gears.

Life is good and grief is fickle.

Kind of like a fickle lover. Not like I have ever had one of those, but you get my point. He complicates things when he’s around, but you don’t want him to leave. You don’t long for his company, yet you can’t let go of his sting. You crave it even. Letting go of him feels like letting go of the loved one he may represent.

My birthday is a marker of grief. It marks 34 years of life as well as 18 months without Dad. Yes, time lessens the blow, but the ache remains. The hole can never be filled. Miss you dad. Always.

Happy birthday to me. I’ll celebrate for the both of us. Though you are at the better party.

xoxo

My babies are almost toddlers...

Oy vey.

The twins turn 2 tomorrow. TWO!

How is this possible?

I no longer have babies. I'm trying to get into the habit of calling them the twins instead of the babies. Hard habit to break.

I am strangely emotional about this milestone. While I am so overwhelmed by the three darlings I already have, the thought of not having a baby, or a couple babies, or a new baby coming soon seems so unusual to me. I don't know how to process it.

This past month has been INSANE and March is pretty much completely booked as well. Lots of birthdays coming up! Hooray for cake.

Reflections on this week:

1. We sold the duplex. Wow.

2. Both of our cell phones broke within hours of each other just 32 days short of getting new ones for free. We ended up at the store with all 3 kids for a very long time. It was great. As you maybe imagined. Certainly a surprise way to spend the evening.

3. Signed up for another 5k - eek!

4. See #1

5. My children refuse to eat anything I make. Even. Chicken. Nuggets. Unreal.

6. Splurged on a pound of Starbucks coffee (with 2 coupons) and it makes me SO happy in the morning. SO happy. Verona. Mmmmmm.

7. See #1

8. God is faithful. This should be #1.

9. I think I need a worry-free MLT vacation.

10. I like my new cell phone.

11. See #1

Selling the duplex has been a theme of our marriage for the past 5+ yrs, thus the repeat mention. We wish the transaction had gone differently, but we praise God that we no longer have to be forced into the role of property manager.

How are they 2 already?!